Thursday, November 09, 2006

Q: Will Donald Rumsfeld go on unemployment?

A: He can’t. He resigned.

I think that the dream of every working American is to, having decided that there is more to life than The Job, quit and go on unemployment… forever. Now, most of us would not admit it given the shame that has been associated with being on the dole. But, if there were a shame free, guilt free way to get out of having to go to The Job everyday, most of us would take advantage of the opportunity, which probably explains why the lottery and Las Vegas are so popular.

Yet we don’t. Most of us have to make the rent, buy the food, pay off the tuition or if life has blessed us with smart children, pay their tuition.

So I wonder, what in the world was Donald Rumsfeld thinking when he resigned from the Secretary of Defense gig? Anybody who has ever punched a clock knows that it’s almost impossible to get unemployment benefits if you quit. Even the home boy manning the fries at McDonald’s knows that the wisest thing to do when it comes time to leave a gig is to:

a: have another job waiting
b: get laid off so you get benefits.

When the President announced the resignation he did not say that Rummy was being promoted or moving onto another post, such as running Haliburton or GE. Nope, for all we know, the former Secretary of Defense might have said, “Hey, take this job and shove it.” He just plum quit, no two weeks notice… nothing.

So, how’s he going to get over? How’s he going to make the mortgage payment? I imagine that he doesn’t live cheap. Maybe he’ll decide to not look for another job and go on Social Security. But, how much can that pay? Most people that I know on Social Security know a whole lot about the clipping of coupons and the benefits of day old bread in the Bakery Aisle.

Rummy has a real problem on his hands. No job, no benefits and the bills still need to be paid. It doesn’t seem as if he’s thought things through. But then again, thinking things through has never been one of his strengths, just ask all those guys that are still in Iraq.


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